


Dear Jean, I'm Sorry I'm dead.

by alien_in_the_sea



Series: Letters after death (JeanMarco) [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Other, based on chapter 77, its actually super lowkey jeanmarco, jeanmarco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 22:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5719276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alien_in_the_sea/pseuds/alien_in_the_sea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But Jean,<br/>I forgive them.<br/>Annie, Reiner, Berthold.<br/>I forgive them because I know one thing:<br/>There’s someone out there who deserves your hatred more than they do.<br/>Marco.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Jean, I'm Sorry I'm dead.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so in the past I've written other things (in other platforms) so this is not my first fanfiction but it sure as hell it is my first SNK one. I wrote this while trying to cope with chapter 77 because that chapter was... something.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and I'm super sorry about how Angsty this is, I'm just naturally drawn to writing it.

Dear Jean:  
I miss you, a lot. I meant to write this letter long ago but you had to find out for yourself before I could tell you what happened. Jean, I’m so proud of the leader you’ve become and I’m glad you still take me with you. The main reason why I’m writing this letter is to tell you, I forgive them. Reiner, Berthold and Annie. I forgive them. But I know that won’t stop you from getting revenge for me. And that’s okay.  
Jean, I was so scared at the end. Everything happened so quickly.  
I still hate myself for not being able to keep my mouth shut. I was the first one to figure it out. Even before Armin, just because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
I heard them and I couldn’t believe it. It had to be a joke. As much as Reiner told me it wasn’t, that they were the titans that started it all, I wanted to believe it was. I wanted to believe Berthold. Berthold kept on telling me it was a joke. And I was mad, because I wanted to believe him so badly that I had to tell them off for joking like that. I wanted to get out of there. I flew off and then I got hit from the back by Reiner.  
I was so scared, lying there, Reiner holding me against the floor. I asked him if he was joking and he wasn’t. I was scared. But I also felt betrayed.  
Because the fight for humanity, suddenly was against humanity.  
Because, Jean, even if you don’t see them as humans, we lived with them, they were my friends, and that was enough for me. They are humans. My friends betrayed me.  
Annie showed up and everything was a blur. Reiner yelling at Annie. Annie yelling back. Me panicking because everything was happening so damn quickly. Berthold warning us against titans that were coming close. I remember begging Annie for help, for Annie to explain what was going on. Because my brain had already decided that my last hope was Annie. Reiner kept on yelling at Annie, and she looked so scared. I thought she was going to help me.  
Then she took my 3DMG.  
Jean, I’m not going to play the hero here. I’m going to paint you the most honest picture I can.  
I cried. A lot.  
They left me there and I was scared. I was so scared because we, as soldiers, were taught to depend on the 3DMG and there was nothing I could do to save myself.  
I was scared because everything happened so quickly and I knew I was going to die but I was going to die because of my friends.  
They left me there, without even explaining a thing.  
It was worse than my death could’ve been because I didn’t graduate. I didn’t get to live the future I chose, even if it was for a day.  
It was worse than it could’ve been because I wasn’t just killed by a titan, as I had pictured I would’ve died. I was killed by my friends.  
It was worse that it could’ve been, because I died alone. I was left to die on my own. Being eaten by a titan.  
It was worse than it could’ve been because I died and I knew I was going to die eventually but I died and there was absolutely nothing I could’ve done. I couldn’t even put up a fight. It wasn’t fair  
It was worse than it could’ve been because you, and everyone else, only found out now, after all these deaths I could’ve avoided if my mouth had stayed shut. After you were finally getting closure.  
God, Jean. I cried so much for all of those reasons and I met my end.  
The titan grabbed me. It was so slow and horrible. But, finally, I died.  
Jean, I’m writing this letter to tell you that I miss you.  
And all the 104th Trainee Squad.  
And to tell you about the pain in Annie’s eyes as she passed the death sentence upon me, right in front of my eyes. She cried.  
And to tell you about how painful it was for Reiner to betray me. I could see the internal battle that he fought. He had no choice.  
And to tell you about how Berthold didn’t want to do it.  
It’s okay that you want to take revenge, Jean. It’s okay and I don’t blame you.  
But know that they were forced and that there’s someone else worse.  
In your eyes, they might deserve it because they killed all these people. They killed so many of our friends. And you’re right, they are murderers in endless battle.  
But Jean,  
I forgive them.  
Annie, Reiner, Berthold.  
I forgive them because I know one thing:  
There’s someone out there who deserves your hatred more than they do.  
Marco.

PS: I want you to promise me one thing. If you want, get revenge on my and many other people’s memory. I know you will. But Jean, whatever you do, don’t get yourself killed. Be a leader and carry the memories of all the fallen with you. Stay Alive. For me.


End file.
